happy girl sitting on a couch unbothered

How To Become Unbothered


 I have been an unbothered person for a couple of years now and it’s the most freeing thing. If you constantly think of every little mistake you have made, harbor resentment towards those that have wronged you, or feel powerless. It is time to change that

What does being unbothered mean?

According to the dictionary, it means not feeling or showing agitation, worry, or annoyance. It means not giving a f**k about what others think, feel, or may say about you. Ignoring things is the basis of becoming unbothered, 

I know it’s easier said than done but it is possible. I tried ignoring people a million times without success before it became part of my life.

I eventually became unbothered and here is how

Know Your boundaries

Boundaries have always been an issue to me, but when I realized that it is okay to cut people off from my life. You should always put your mental health first. If someone doesn’t serve you, if they drain your energy rather than adding to it, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

 I have always been a people pleaser and constantly spreading myself too thin. I realized that when I would go out of my way to help even those who had wronged me in the past, it’s not a bad thing but you should have your limits.

No one cares about you

You have to realize that no one cares about you and it’s not a bad thing. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Look at your friends and family, do you constantly think about them and their lives no you don’t. We are consumed with our own lives so much that we rarely just think about that person who failed that test and name them stupid.

Think about it, no one cares about you as much as you do yourself. 

Consume Quality Content.

Social media is filled with content and choosing what to consume can sometimes be confusing. Every content should either fill you with joy or provides some sort of value to your life. If you allow negativity in your socials then where else won’t you allow it?

I would suggest that after reading this you go to your phone and unfollow people who don’t add any value to your life or make you happy. I do this once a month and it helps.

Mind your own business

When thinking of how to become unbothered, minding your own business is key. I occasionally watch some celebrity gossip here and there but if it’s affecting me in any negative way or consuming too much of my time, I just stop.

When it comes to real-life just stop caring about other people’s lives because it won’t help you in any way. It may be hard with social media feeding us with such content on a daily but being intentional with your time and energy will go a long way in helping us get to the unbothered mindset.

Live to Please Yourself

two happy black girls by the beach
being unbothered and happy

“What will they think of me?”, NO ONE CARES, and if they do it’s none of your business. Why would you let your understanding of how people will perceive your actions dictate your life. 

I keep saying, your choices alone dictate your life, and the earlier you know it the better. Of course, don’t go around being a bad person, treat people with kindness but don’t let them control your life.

Stop comparison

This also ties back to social media usage. We are constantly being bombarded with photos of people we may consider prettier than us everywhere. You may see someone better than you and end up feeling like a failure yet your journey is just beginning and they just got to the finish line. It a waste of time

Comparison is the thief of joy

We are all beautiful and on different journeys so enjoy yours and you’ll eventually even surpass whatever it is you are eyeing.

Keep low expectations

An unbothered person has low expectations of the people around them. This doesn’t mean that you don’t believe in people or you think the project will failIt simply means that you won’t be focusing excessively on the outcome. 

It may sound harsh or pessimistic but your energy and time are very valuable, and an unbothered person never wastes any of it.

Stop judging others

Only God can judge people and you are not God. Just keep the focus on yourself.

Speak less

Unbothered people know when to talk and when to shut up. Not everyone deserves to hear your eloquence. 

I always let other people carry the conversations and I speak very few times. Observe others so you can make an unbiased decision about the people you want to surround yourself with.

Be assertive

An unbothered person is assertive. Stand firm with your decisions and don’t let people push you around.

If it’s not a hell yes it’s a hell no.

Be kind to yourself

If you are like me, people have hurt you before and it was painful. An unbothered person treats others and themselves with kindness.

Don’t talk when upset

This should apply in every aspect of talking. Take a step back and think about what you want to say and if you are too upset just keep quiet. Don’t take things personally.

Hurt people hurt people

You are now closer to becoming an unbothered person so practice.





IPhoto by Cody Black on Unsplash


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